Tragic

Had my first patient die today...first hour on shift. 170 kilo (374 pounds)51 year old woman, her lungs could not handle the weight and they gave out. Mind you, I am a first year nursing student who still thinks that the ideals of nursing exist and I tend to set a high standard of judgment on the nurses I shadow...but today I decided to turn off my judgement and step into the ICU nurses shoes. ICU nurses although very compassionate, there is a degree to which they have to disconnect in order to get throught it all, post-mortum care on a 400 pound patient is something I hope I never have to perform again, I nearly vomited four times and could not gain my composure...but the nurses sick humor did get me through it. It may sound cruel but until you walk in thier clogs you have no room to judge, I learned that lesson today! Thanks Sue!!!